Feb 28, 2001

Spitfire


Well, just one more day until the big RBlords one year aniversery. Hard to believe its been so long, isn't it?

Heh, you've gotta take a look at the link on the right that Mr. P donated today, its absolutely grand. But beware, there are pictures of naked Cisco routers and bondage pictures involving Sun systems!

Hmm....all that 'hardware' has got me thinking about how I'm going to have to move all of this equipment in the spring. As I am physically moving to a new house, I'm going to have to either lug oden along with me or build a new, better server. I think the latter is probably the best choice. I guess I could always use my dual-proc machine for a linux box, seeing as how it would probably get more use that way. All the php and cgi scripts along with mySQL are really eating up resources on this poor little P200.

Speaking of computers, my 'work' will be recycling around 130 old Pentium 166 and Pentium 200 machines within the next couple months. From what I have heard they will probably end up going out to Grasswood Auctions. If you live in Saskatoon and don't know where that is, its on the Regina highway coming into town, kinda. Anyhow, I'm gonna have to swing by when the sell them and see if I can't grab a few for cheap or something.

RBlords Commerical Product Plug: "Beefeater, what more can you ask for?

Pike Lake 2001 in approaching quickly (May Long weekend) so make sure to mark it on your calendars! I know The Saint has already marked it on his, then crossed it out and written in :"Wedding" underneith :). If you're reading this right now, Mr. Saint, be aware that YC, Dawn and myself are still planning on making a trip ALL THE WAY DOWN TO FREAKIN CRAVEN in the middle of our super camp-party. Send me the times of the ceremony/reception as soon as you know for sure so that I can work this out! Could be interesting...

Before I go, I'd like to share with you part of a job advertisement I saw in the paper on the weekend. The position was for an Office Administrator for Jim Pankew, MP, and included the following paragraph at the bottom of the ad:

"In contrast to Employment Equity quotas and Affirmative Action programs, no special consideration will be given to applicants because of their race, gender, or colour. Merit will be the sole determining factor in decding on the successful candidate."
Thought it was a funny thing to but at the bottem of a job posting :). Anyhow, I'm outta here to go turn the world into a better place. It takes time, but in the long run it'll be worth it. First I'll start by cleaning up Dog Pound's attitude when it comes to littering in my city.

Feb 28, 2001

Spitfire


I've been linked!

Feb 27, 2001

Spitfire


GAH! I just completely toasted my mailbox as I was randomly deleting things off my machine, and of course I did this before my update. And, of course all of my content for today was sitting in the mailbox so I guess I'm just going to have to improvise. God forbid! Uhhh uhhh uhhhh....

Well, today I'm just going to post a bunch of links that Blue4130 sent me today over ICQ. Well, ok there's just two but they're interesting enough.

The first link is a must see - probably the 'most best' computer desk in the world! For some reason or another I can easily imagine The Saint purchasing one of these (if he hasn't already). With this kind of setup it would be techically difficult NOT to rule the world. For evil genius's only!

Now that you have the desk, you need some funky designer computer hardware to match! Throw away that ugly monotone scrollmouse that your mother gave you for christmas, and pick up a nice 'designer' red cherry wood mouse, and keyboard, and LCD flatscreen. They have it all.

There was a story in the newspaper today (and all over the radio recently) about a baby that was left out in the cold and pretty well froze to death over a period of like 3 hours or something. At first I was really confused because the report claimed the child was 'accidently left' outside for the duration, but after reading the entire article it sounded more like the child took off. Anyhow, the kid was only wearing a diaper and when they found him his body temperature was only 17C (regular body temp is 36C of course) and his heart hadn't been beating for almost 2 hours. The kid wasn't even breathing, and now they're saying that he is going to make a good recovery with no brain damage. Holy fuck thats amazing. I didn't even realize that you could stop breathing for 2 hours and live, let alone not suffer any brain damage. Thats just messed up.

I've been watching __SPACE__'s page recently, going to it every day. That page kicks SO MUCH ass.

Oh yeah, and today I got the last of the documents in the mail that I need to file my tax return. I was excited to get it all over with this year so that I could get a quick return (because I know that I am getting money back), and then I discovered that I had lost my T4 slips! Like, whats with that? I totally left them on the table in plain view and now they're gone! Now THATS messed up! So I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't find them, I guess I'll have to go back to work and ask for another one, like the dumbass that I am. Sheeesh.

Anyhow, time to run. For for the SuX0ring update, but hey, I gotz thingz ta do!

Quick fact: Dog Pound earned 3 respect points from myself today, along with a bonus of +2 charisma. And it had nothing to do with eating hot dogs.

Feb 26, 2001

Spitfire


Well, I usually do an early update on Sunday but I guess it just didn't happen. The reason is because I ended up being surrounded by thousands upon thousands of beautiful women all day. And no, I wasn't at the strip club. I'm just that damn sexy.

As you may have read from the weekend update, Dog Pound and Audiophile were lost this weekend while making their way back from BC. Well, they were found and arrived safely afterall so everybody can relax now. In fact, Audiophile caught so many rays this past week that his hair has been bleached bright blonde. Hmmph.

LEGO PORN! LEGO PORN!

Well, the weather is finally looking up! Starting Tuesday, its supposed to be getting warmer by the day and that brings us one day closer to summer, and one day closer to my inevitable happiness!

Blue4130 wished me to post this link. Don't ask me why. I don't know. He also wanted me to inform my readers that "Girls are messed up and not worth the effort most on the time". I think the word 'on' is supposed to be 'of', but what am I? A proofreader? I should work for The Star Phoenix as they seem to have fired all of theirs.


[1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

This weekend I watched the movie "Beowulf", starring Christopher Lambert (Highlander). I had my doubts about the movie before renting it simply because I had never heard of it before. But soul_d REALLY REALLY wanted to watch it, and the review on the back WAS pretty good... "A perfect combination of Highlander, DragonSlayer, and Mortal Kombat". And that it was. Based on the poem, "Beowulf", the movie is a story set in the future (although there are no guns and everyone lives in castles) where some strange supernatural monster is eating everybody and Christopher Lambert is essentially the Highlander coming to set things straight. There was little nudity in the movie, and not much swearing but the violence and techno music more than made up for it. Give it a try, its worth a rent.

I heard from good ol' Jay B the other day who was offering to sell me bulk amounts of premium Cat5e+ cable to replace my current, archaic Cat5 infrastructure. He also offered to hook me up with a sweet fiber backbone, so I'll have to consider the deal.

Feb 23, 2001

soul_d


Welcome to Weekend Update, with Soul D

Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:

Someone Set Up Us the Hump!

Cayely Humphries is back in town and already causing trouble. Reunited with his brother, Graeme, the two Humphries boys (pictured right) have been recklessly (and drunkenly) driving all over town, destroying and vandalizing everything they come across. It is reported that they have already been involved in several home invasions and prostitute encounters. It is advised that if you see these two together, that you play dead immediately, as they will most likely just point and laugh and walk way. Do not under any circumstances approach these two.

Dea Sweet as Ever.

Last night, Dea celebrated her 19th birthday at the infamous Dino's Bar and Grill. Dea was surrounded by many friends and there was a great celebration. Not even the Humphries could stop the joy! Jet D also made an appearance.

Prediger Not Expected to Return.

Saskatchewan authorities have stated in a public report today that they do not expect either Dog Pound or Audiophile to survive the return from BC. In a joint effort between the RCMP and the CIA, which made use of American AWACS planes, the authorities attempted to track the location of the pair as they crossed through Alberta, but lost contact with them shortly before they entered the Rocky Mountains. It is believed that they were eaten by Sasquatch. Jet D issued a report last Thursday that disputed this claim. An excerpt from the report reads as follows: "Those guys [the RCMP] are dumb… they [Dog Pound and Audiophile] are not dead, they just stopped off to get some A&W drive thru…"

Spitfire Receives Gift of Music

The other day, Jet D presented Spitfire with a compellation CD of music for him to enjoy. The first track on the disk was "Thank you for Being my Friend" also known as the Theme from the Golden Girls. Spitfire was very happy and danced up a storm.

Fredish Returns

Fredish has returned from Toronto. She now smells like soap and dope. Currently, she is rummored to be involved in criminal activities with the Humphries boys.

Jet D Returns from Edmonton.

Jet D has returned from Edmonton. He refuses to discuss in detail the specifics of his trip at this time. He promises that "When I am ready to tell you, it will be really good. Well, maybe not all that good, but pretty cool anyways. Well, maybe you'll think it's awesome. Maybe you'll just be like 'oh yeah…' or 'woah…' " Jet D goes on at length like this.

FORD CAR $50 OBO

Call (306) 230-6173 for details.



Well, that's the news and I have to get down to the gym again. Graeme is gay.

Feb 22, 2001

Spitfire


Anybody catch the Grammys? I watched the first hour or so and couldn't help but notice how much they suck more every year. The only good part was how the host guy kept talking about how gay Eminem was, and comparing him to Elton John, the supergay. I wanted to check it out to see what Britney Spears was wearing this year (could she find anything more transparent than last year?) but alas she wasn't there. Puff Daddy also couldn't make it because he is currently standing trial. What a wonderful music industry!

F0r alL j00 asp1ring l337 haX0rs out there, you'd better check out the comic strip on the left, sent in by Blue4130, who describes it as "beautiful, breathtaking, and hard to miss".

On the topic of L337 haX0rs, some of you may be experiencing problems connecting to RBlords.com via ftp. Problems such as connection timeouts, periodic drops in the connection, etc. It's being worked on, I assure you :).

Ok, ok, I know I promised some sort of nudity today, so here are your golf lessons to get you in the mood for Spring:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

Are my updates getting crappier and more empty by the day, or is it just me? Its hard to come up with things to say after almost a full year of doing this. The weather? Its still cold. My life? I'm alright. The state of the current financial market in a nutshell? bah. Send me some ideas on what to talk about or write articles about or something like that because I'm just plain out of originality here. Come on! Or post some ideas on the Discussion Board!

Yup. Pretty slow around here. My theory is its just the time of year...this long drawn-out period of time between new years and Easter where there are no stat holidays (except Alberta), crappy weather, and a whole lotta people dragging their feet around. I wouldn't be surprised if the productivity level of the country as a whole decreased significantly during this depressing time period. Which leads me to my point - a holliday in March would do Saskatchewan's economy a whole lotta good. If you don't know where Saskatchewan is, LOOK IT UP!.

Last minute note - seems the RBlords DNS problems have pissed __SPACE__ off. Must be working now tho, seing as how she managed to fit in an update.

Feb 21, 2001

Spitfire


There's a whole lot of sadness going on in the Discussion Board lately, but I suppose on the positive side that means more hits for me. To try and add a positive note, I've added a super-happy fun survey to get everyone involved...so go check it out and VOTE NOW!. Fuck, I just had a bunch of hot wings like half an hour ago and my mouth is still burning. I used to be able to take that kind of abuse but I can no longer...

I understand that many of you have not been able to get to the site lately using the dns name 'RBlords.com'. At first I thought these complaints were unfounded and superficial at best, but on second glance I realized that my DNS Server had errored out and crashed completely. So, I admit this was my fault and the fixes have been made. They should be effective pretty well now, but your dns servers may take a day or two to catch up...who knows...nobody reads this anyhow. I suppose thats why nobody complained that I didn't update yesterday. Wanna know why?? huh?? I got back from the gym at, like, 8:30 and fell asleep until 7 the next morning. Coming from a guy who NEVER naps at all, thats quite an acheivement and was really quite refreshing.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!. Sorry, couldn't resist. If you haven't seen the video, you simply must!

If you've already seen it, how about some good ol' bloopers, including a guy getting hit in the groin...all in the form of a Toyota commercial.

I figure from now on thats a pretty good way for me to make up missing an update. From now on, whenever I miss updating for a day you can be sure to get some sort of groin injury related photo/video.

Is there much more to talk about? Dog Pound is still in Vancouver with Audiophile, so things have been kind of quiet on that front. I also haven't really heard from any of my readers lately but I assume by the hits I've been getting that SOMEBODY is coming to my site, other than search engine bots. Anyhow, I'll be back tomorrow with some porno, so don't forget to check back.

Feb 19, 2001

Spitfire


GAH...stupid Discussion Board...I trying playing around with some settings (namely I was trying to get it to stop disallowing swearing) and I ended up getting myself banned. Then, in an effort to fix it I just ended up in another mess so I'm going to ignore it for now. I'll try again tomorrow.

If anyone was wondering why there was no 'Weekend Update', its because soul_d has been away for the weekend, but I'm sure that this will mean that next weekend will host a glorious update to make up for it (I can only imagine). In fact, everyone was out of town this weekend except for Unit3 and Blue4130..so I guess it was a quiet weekend in general.


I've got one beef to share with everyone today, if I may. If there's one thing that really bugs me about the way 'things are', its the way that society is being filled with more and more single parents all the time. In my personal opinion, neither a male or a female is perfectly capable of raising a child by themselves. To be completely honest, I'm not even sure I like the idea of two females parenting a child or two males for that matter. I think that any child 'needs' a mother and a father figure, even if that parent is not biological. I got thinking about this after watching tonight's episode of "The Practice", where a girl was fighting to keep sole custody of an unborn child because she didn't 'want' the father around. She became pregnant from him because she wanted to raise a baby by herself, and even had him sign a contract saying he relenquished all legal bindings to the child. The line that got me thinking of all of this is when the judge said something along the lines of "It's funny how when a man leaves a child fatherless he is considered a horrible person, however when a mother brings a child into the world with the same intentions, she is considered courageous and strong.".

Then you look at someone like Rosie O'Donnel. Rosie has recently adopted her 6th kid I believe, and she announced it on her show with such entheusiasm. I don't doubt her love for these kids, none of which are hers biologically. But at the same time I have to wonder, what on earth are you trying to do? First of all, if you were any regular middle-class smuck it takes you up to 2 full years to get your hands on an adopted baby, and thats if everything goes right. But here's Rosie, big celebrity, and she can get a baby the hour after she makes the decision. There are a whole swack of infertile couples out there who would love to bring that baby into a loving home, and yet now its going to grow up with no father, living in daycare most its childhood (How much spare time can Rosie REALLY have?) and barely even getting the chance to see its mother. I dunno, that just bugs me. Kids should have parents.

I think thats all I have to say today. It's nice to see that Larmal is still alive and kicking. In fact, there are a lot of people alive and kicking on the discussion board lately. Have fun and stay out of the sun everybody, tomorrow is going to be a new day.

Feb 16, 2001

Spitfire


So Dog Pound thinks the site is dying...he thinks the effort stinks. Does anybody else care? It's true, lately I've had my mind on other things but at least I'm still outdoing __SPACE__ and Mr. P. Hmmmmm...

I'd like to take a few minutes to talk about a new 'gaming experience' that Razor has brought to my attention. It's called "Majestic", and the reason I call it an experience is because its a whole new form of game, played (in a way) completely over the internet, but interacts with your everyday life. Their slogan "The game Plays YOU" fits very well. I can't really explain it that much more but check out the site, its worth a look. This game seriously crosses some boundries that games have never crossed before, such as actually phoning you at home, and faxing you things. The following is a quote from their FAQ:

"Adjustable realism settings allow users to customize the degree to which incoming Majestic communications are identified (in advance) as part of the game. When full realism is selected, emails, telephone calls, faxes and other game interactions will be delivered to the user without any obvious indication that they are related to the game. In this mode, Majestic can most effectively blur the lines between your real life and the game. Users can also choose to have Majestic coversheets on incoming faxes, Majestic identification at the beginning of incoming voice mail messages and otherwise tailor the experience for a less realistic, but more predictable experience. There is also the option to not have telephone calls and faxes sent to your "real life", but you can still check for and receive those transmissions online, while you're in the game."
Pretty wacky if you ask me, I wonder if it will fly...

Gah, I had more to put up but I lost it, and then I passed out for 3 hours. Damn I hate that. Go check out VaginaMonologues.com for something to do. YC gave me the link and I only had a minute to look at the site and I still haven't really figured out what it is. And no, its not a porn site.

Feb 15, 2001

Spitfire


What? No update yesterday? Whats with that? Well...it was valentine's day...and although I'm sure all of you were hoping for some super Rappablords Valentine's special update, of course there was nothing. The reason, quite simply, is that valentine's day is a very busy day for me. You see, on Feb. 14th, everybody at work comes naked and participates in a huge super-orgy. So needless to say, I'm still recovering from that but I wouldn't want to leave my readers with TWO days with no updates.

For some reason or another, the 'emoticons' in the Discussion Board were all messed up...so I've fixed those...also the Discussion Board should be running faster in general, because it is no longer loading its graphics off of a remote site (which was the default setting).

Crouching TIGGER, Hidden Dragon???

Wow, Blue4130 sent me a real masterpiece. I don't want to ruin the surprise, so have a listen yourself (but don't play it too loud around your kids).

Snow SNOW, SNOW! GRRRR....where's my spring?? I know, I complain too much about the weather. I suppose I should be happy that its winter, because I generally seem to spend less in winter and I really have to work at getting the rest of my debts paid off (including some haunting students loans). I suppose I have one thing to look forward to, and thats my tax return. If all goes the way I hope, I should be getting some coin back. Here's hoping!

Alright, I give up...it may be late but I'm here to spread some Valentine's cheer for all you guys out there...nude Valentine's Calender Girls:

Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec


Thats all for now, come back tomorrow for some super super fun. No really, it will be a darn good time. Darn good.

Feb 13, 2001

Spitfire


Am I ever tired today. It must be all this snow and cold weather, makes me want to stay at home until it all clears up...but I don't think there's any chance of that happening soon. Until then I'm just going to have to get Dog Pound to drive me around everywhere. I also learned an important lesson today: I stopped by Audiophile's place and proceeded to call him gay many times, which resulted in me getting punched and then pushed down the stairs. I have come to the conclusion that when you call people gay who aren't gay, they inflict physical harm upon you. Whereas if you call people gay who ARE gay, they just try and insult you back (like YC). Anyhow...

What happened to Kujo?? Looks like I'm gonna have to hack this link thing on my own...

Click on the picture to the left to watch paul dance to a variety of tunes, including Vanilla Ice. You can change his movements, etc, even add backup dancers!

How about a funny commercial involving a karate student who is having some problems...?

Listen to Dog Pound Wail!

And my personal favorite, you have to check this out! I hate that damn paperclip.

Gauarusadgh.....I just ate what was left of the pizza I bought Saturday night, what a trajedy. I don't know what it is about Dominos pizza that keeps me coming back, especially after I learned that each individual slice of peporonni pizza contains over 40 grams of fat - more than a Big Mac. Yup, that means that a whole pizza, along with a box of twisty bread brings you up around 500 grams of fat in one sitting (I have done this before, easily, in my younger days. Now it takes me two sittings). Anyhow, I think the recommended daily intake of fat is somewhere around 30-40 grams. Hmmph. This doesn't surprise me considering the horrible feeling that you have to suffer through the entire day afterwards, and the hours you spend on the toilet after consuming a box full of twisty-grease (bread). Mmmmm.....pizza.

hmmm. Where is everyone? Hello?? The Discussion Board is dead, and I have had very little email from any of you. OH WAIT, that just reminded me that Blue4130 sent me some sort of article about scientific monkey testing. Hang on, now I have to find it....ahhh here it is.

Anyhow, time to roll. Keep it real everyone, I'll see you again in 24!

Feb 12, 2001

Spitfire


Alright, Dog Pound claims that my updates have really sucked lately. I'm sorry if the suckiness level of these updates has become even more evident over the past week or so, but I'm beginning to run out of things to say. After a full year of bullshitting, I'm starting to break down! Jay B, save me!!

Razor's band (which I am part of) isn't doing so hot lately, problem is we seem to be having some communication issues. We haven't really had enough jam sessions I think, and as for gigs, we've yet to get one. All we really need is to get noticed, then we'll be IN. I'm talking record contracts out the ass! When Razor gets a few drinks in him, he can sing any GnR song out there!!

Speaking of bands, I thought Bastard Machine was supposed to be playing their first gig last week. What ever happened to that? Fuck.

Another boring Sunday (ok, the header says monday but I'm doing this early). Another week gone, another winter dissapearing. Is it just me or does life seem to go by faster the older you get? I mean, the 4 years of highschool I went through seemed like an entire lifetime on their own. Now I find myself trying to ignore the passing of time so that I can hold out for the next payday, its really sad when you think about it. I mean, I can't think of any worse crime than wasting time. That Death Clock really got me thinking. We all do have a certain amount of hours left of our lives, why waste a week of it waiting for a paycheque? Life sucks, then you die, right? Either way, if you were to ask The Saint, you just end up serving him anyways :).

Now hippies, hippies knew how to live. I'm not talking about modern hippies (ravers), but the old 60s, live in a bus, have sex 10 times a day, smoke drugs all the time and not care about anything but the environment hippies. I can't think of anything much better other than perhaps being a roadie for Twisted Sister, both would be very exceptable lifestyles. Too bad all the roadies are in jail and all the hippies ended up dying of various STDs which their generation did an excellent job of spreading. Nothing good in life comes without punishment, hey? Bah.

YC has been strongly objecting all of the accusations and rumours of him being gay. So much so, in fact, that some would say that it would make him appear gay. He then had the nerve to suggest that myself accusing him of being gay was just an act to cover up my own gayness. Tsk tsk tsk YC, you only wish!

Bored? Crank up a little Jimmy Ray to enlighten your spirits! I remember back in the day when Jimmy was still popular. At the time I was working alongside Blue4130, and everytime Jimmy came on the radio I would make him turn it up. Blue argued that Jimmy was gay, and would dissapear after his first song lost popularity, but I stood up for Jimmy Ray! He's been gone for awhile but he's on his way to making a comeback!

One last thing before I go today, Unit3 has picked up a new domain name, a .ca domain name. DEMONI.CA is now online and is picking up where Mr. T left off. I suppose this means he'll be making me a new banner for this site. Anyhow, mosey on over to DEMONI.CA for some top quality news....it's generally a lot better than the shit I post here.

Feb 10, 2001

soul_d


Welcome to Weekend Update, with Soul D

Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:

Midtown Plaza Hosts Retard Fashion Show

This weekend, at the Saturday Midtown Meltdown, Unit3 and Myself witnessed what can only be described as some sort of Retard Fashion show. It happened at the CKOM runway, located temporarily in front of Sears, as we watched in complete shock from the upper level. To the booming music of "Who Let the Dogs Out?" some retarded kid in a wheel chair was pushed around the runway by his keeper, and had his arms held in various positions, as to strike an assisted pose.

IT'S FUCKING KROWLD OUTSIDE!

Since the jet stream is dipping down almost all the way to Texas, everything north of it is being subjected to extreme arctic conditions. It really sucks.

The Star Wars of Kung-Fu Movies HANDS IN DOUBLE GUARD POSITION!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The movie rules. It is hard to explain how much this movie rules. It had flying Chinamen.

Dog Pound on Rampage

Dog Pound, Canadian Crackah Rap Monstah, has been on a rampage since Ritz came back to town. It is reported that Dog Pound has so far jumped from a movie vehicle, assaulted one of Ritz's friends, threatened a middle aged woman until she started crying, and been quite the pain in the ass to the general population. Since Ritz returned, he has been stopped for DUI, and been suspected of buggery. When reached for comment, Ultrachronic Ebonic, Dog Pound's manager, refused to comment on the validity of the rumors that PCP is involved in the recent rampages. So far, EZC has not been seen for days, and is suspected to be quite high.

Fredish Buys Hot Party Pants/

Fredish has bought some hot party pants. These pants were purchased during the aforementioned Saturday Midtown Meltdown. Yeah!!!!

It must be the Tommy

Jet D is fucking hot. There will be no weekend update next weekend, as Jet D has buisness to take car of in Edmonton. It is suspected that he will visited Bob and Mary Ericson, and then go in search of martial artists to battle, and beautiful women to party with afterward. It is also rumored that Chow Yun Fat will be in Edmonton, so business could really pick up in china town.

FORD CAR $50 OBO

Call (306) 230-6173 for details.



Well, that's the news and I have to work out of the next 4 hours. Graeme is gay.

Feb 09, 2001

Spitfire


Hmmm....ok super late update, so what? I was out having some gay drinks with a gay YC. Man was that ever gay.

Razor raised a good point in his discussion board yesterday about Jay B being absent from the whole internet scene. I mean, where is that guy? If you are out there, and you are Jay B, drop me a line to let me know that you still exist. Afterall, you DID say that you were going to join RBlords if you quit EJ. Now I want to know where my articles are! Oh, and to anyone who hasn't noticed, Extreme Jerks is now 'officially' dead/retired. I remember once upon a time when myself and Jay B would argue about which site would last the longest....and now look who won! The guy with no life and plenty of time to make lame updates every night! Yay!

I want to go to bed. This update may be lame, but so are you so shut up! I've got a lot of nothing to do tomorrow on my day off, like pull soul_d's lame ass out of bed and beat the piss outta him. Hmm...I think its time for another soul_d article....

One last thing, apparently part of my update yesterday did not make sense. Now that I look at it, it makes perfect sense to me. The comment about "Thats pretty freakin' sweet considering that means this is my last (wahoo!)." was reffering to yesterday being my last day of the week...GOT IT?? HUH?? BAH!

Anyhow, if you're bored, go check out YC's new Hi-Fi Page.

Feb 08, 2001

Spitfire


Wow, can you believe it?? All the snow melted away and its +30 outside! Really!


Fellatio, anybody?
Ok, so maybe its not summer yet, but I've still got my hopes! Today was another one of those nasty days where it 'looks' nice outside, but its actually terribly cold. Stupid cold. It aint good for nothin, nothin at all.

On the bright side of things, I just remembered half way through today that I have this friday off. Thats pretty freakin' sweet considering that means this is my last (wahoo!). I also received a check from the Federal Government today for some sort of a 'Heating cost Releif'. Basically, we (Canada) were dumb enough to build a pipeline down to the states so that privatized gas companies could pump all our natural gas down to the US, creating 'above normal consumption', which have caused natural gas rates in some places in Canada to more than double. As a result, everybody up here started kicking and screaming so now the Government is offering rebates to some of us to ease the pain. Yeah, rebates from our own tax money. Kinda like booting yourself in the ass...might as well bend over now.

Enough ranting about the government, time to move on to more serious things. Mr. P sent out a link today to a site completely dedicated to the Rules of Shotgun. Interesting link if you know one of those people who always has to be the first out the door to get the front seat. Read up on the rules, and maybe you could bunt him. I always just kinda thought the only rule was that the toughest guy gets the front seat. Pretty easy that way. Disputes? Paper, Rock, Sissors? How about an all out bare-knuckle box-o-rama?!?!?! BANG!

BILBO OF THE GATEPEOPLE?!?

My tired ass is tired of doing this lame update. Peace out!

Feb 07, 2001

Spitfire


GREAT SCOTT! There's some Global War going on, and everyone's invited!

Went to see the movie "SNATCH" today, not to be confused with Snatch. Anyhow, I'm too lazy to dig up pictures or post DP heads and shit, so I'm just going to say this: it's a pretty decent flic, go and see it...its worth the money and its worth a good laugh. Interesting directing style, some very interesting characters, a LOT of swearing (maybe even more than Shaft??), and a lot of bleeding. Overall, its was pretty damn good. So there you have it.


Click on the Picture to view the caption and see why this pic is so damn funny
(It's a clipping from an English Korean newspaper BTW)

Looking at that picture made me reminded me of my Grade 12 graduation photo for some reason. DP would know which one I'm talking about.

Well, I knew Volare's were cool but....

Kujo mailed me some links about this ultimate super-car awhile ago, at which point it was still a work in progress. Well, its finally done and they are giving it away. They had to take the flamethrower off of the front of the car tho, because of some sort of legal reasons. However, I think it does have an oil slick button to make up for it.

Who would do this to a Volare? Perhaps there is a more volare that is greater in super-ness than my own super-volare? Yes. There is. And here it is.

In a desperate attempt to go to bed early, I'm leaving the update short. Go check out the Discussion Board and read about how YC likes to piss people off. For the one year aniversery of RBlords there are rumours in the air of a re-design, but I'm not sure where I heard that. Oh hey, valentine's day is coming up. Make sure to send a card to your loved one! CHOW!

Feb 06, 2001

Spitfire


So I had a little bit of a chat with YC today about how spring is just around the corner. I've been pissed off for the past month or so ever since I remembered that April existed, meaning that it was that much longer until I was going to see the melting of the snow. YC then comforted me by informing me that on his birthday (Apr. 6 I think), there are usually puddles everywhere. This made me happier, so now if winter isn't over within two months I'm going to take it out on him....or DP. YC then told me a story about how he pissed some guy off on the freeway today who followed him home and yelled at him. It was a good story, really.

Speaking of YC, he has prepared a little bit of a rant for us today. I have entitled it: "Us people today aint done shit"

My exciting story about work today is all about how I managed to misplace 100 brand new, still in the box computers. Sometime this afternoon I trekked my way upstairs to grab one of the 100 new PentiumIII-800s but when I opened the door to the server room they were all gone. When I asked where they went and when they would be back, nobody knew. After being passed off to many different people I eventually located my computers on the other side of the building in a small storage room behind an elevator, where they were stacked all the way up to the 10 ft. tall ceiling. I then had to balance myself on many desks with wheels, trying to reach the one on the top, hoping not to create some horrible land-slide disaster. I got it down safe somehow, but thats my story.

Pretty exciting, hey?

Blue4130 swung by today as I was typing this update, and informed me of this link which he found when searching for "RBlords" on google.com. At first it seemed weird that my entire June updates had been mirrored on thock.com, but then I read Dylan's June Updates and discovered why. Makes a lot more sense now. And although it may be a little late, yes Dylan, we are all HUGE fans of thock.com here at RBlords.

Got forwarded this funny Sony commecial today at work. It's worth a look, and a laugh. Check it out.

Well I suppose that is it for today's update...its only a matter of days until our 1 year aniversery...I suppose I will have to put together something special for that day, huh? Hmmm. If you have any suggestions, either let me know or post them on the Discussion Board. DO IT!

Just one last note: The last ten hits I received from a search engine were from the following queries..."bravada mods", "MAN vs. BEAR comercial", "if you had my love video", "colorcases case review", "funny jamaican songs", "comercial clip funny", "backyard wrestling download", "wheelchair rebecca", "winamp skin girl naked". Just thought you'd like to know!

Feb 05, 2001

Spitfire


Beautiful update, soul_d, it almost made me cry!

So, as you may have gathered from the "Weekend Update", I went out bowling late Friday night after challenging DP to a game, promising to kick his ass. Of course, I did so kick his ass in the first frame, but then in the 2nd frame he pulled ahead mostly because I was just fooling around and wasn't trying anymore. So, overall I am still the champion. I should mention that Unit3 broke 200 which was pretty cool. Only bad thing is that YC skipped town so he couldn't come show us how its done, Blaine Lake style. Nonetheless, I made a moderate effort at keeping it real, and in the end isn't that the most anyone can expect?

Audiophile, our main man, has prepared an article for RBlords. Well, actually, its more of an article directed solely at DP, but what can I say? I'm starving for articles here! This article is a bed-time story about how DP became an educated man, and why no-one understands him (but his woman). Can you dig it?.

For anyone that cares, the main RBlords site is now averaging about 50 unique hits per day. These are actually hits BTW, not to be confused with 'page views'. I'm started to get a lot of hits coming from search engines, namely Yahoo. I never signed up for that engine, so I guess now I know who those bots were working for.

Weather, weather, weather. With the Super-Volare dead there's not much I can think of other than spring, sun, and beaches. Not bitches, beaches. I am done with winter. I normally don't complain about winter all that much but for some reason I just want to dive back into summer again. Perhaps I need to get out and buy myself a snowmobile or something to keep me occupied, as building snow-forts just doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. And remember, this summer is the "Summer of YC", so everybody best look out, THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE!

I also still have to figure out what I'm going to do about The Saint getting married right in the middle of PIKE LAKE 2001. This is seriously screwing me over. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if the wedding was IN SASKATOON, but he has to get married 2 hours out of town! Right now the standing plan is for myself and YC to drive to the wedding that Saturday at a speed of 230kph so that we can get there in just under an hour and then get back in just under an hour as well.

THE END

Feb 03, 2001

soul_d


Welcome to Weekend Update, with Soul D

Good evening, this is weekend update, and I am your host, Soul D. Our top story tonight:



Unit3 Sets Bowling Record

Unit3 set a bowling record this Friday when he turned in a final score of 202. This is by far the highest score ever set during one of our bowling adventures. No one is quite sure as to how Unit3 bowled so excellently, many feel that he was simply very lucky, while others blame PCP. The bowling itself was really cool, with lights and smoke and hot young girls. Also, something kind of funny was going on with Unit3 and some strange girl. More on that as it develops.

More Ford Explorers Recalled

This week, ford issued another recall on the already plagued ford explorer. It seems that certain explorers were released from the factory with live worms in them. When asked to comment on the second recall, Jacques Nasser, president and chief executive officer of the Ford Motor Company, had this to say. No one is quite sure as to exactly what Mr. Nasser meant by his comments, many feel he is under a great deal of stress at this time, while others blame PCP.

Jet D getting Bigger by the Second

Jet D is Getting bigger by the second, not only in world wide popularity, but in physical size! Soon Jet D will be a household word used at the table by families such as the Dagenais, and the Bolins. No one is quite sure as to why Jet D's popularity is sky rocketing, many feel that he is just a well played creation of the media, while others blame PCP.

Blue4130 to do it for Albert Street

This summer, Blue4130 will be BMXing his brains out, landing mad jumps and earning wicked props from his wack stunts. Some of the summer plans include: a mobile truck mounted traffic super ramp, a house on coy converted into a BMX super station, a bike with fire for tires called the FIRE TIRE, and a 60 foot jump across a pit filled with broken bottles, sharp metal, and indians. And, he'll be doing it all for Albert Street.

Tyler Holowaty to Sue Eminem

Tyler Holowaty is planning to sue Eminem for copyright infringement, saying "Fucking Eminem stole my look!"

FORD CAR $50 OBO

Call (306) 230-6173 for details.

Well, that's the news and I have to crank up some Darude! Graeme is gay.

Feb 02, 2001

Spitfire


Damn cold! Here I was thinking that spring was, like, tomorrow and its all of a sudden -20 again! Whats with that? Well, we're full into February now so at least I can safely say that we only have about 2 more months of iffy winter weather before it all starts to clean up again. Guess we've been spoiled by all of these super warm winters lately. Now, is it just me or are the winters getting warmer up here while the winters in the states/mexico are getting colder? I mean it was just a couple years ago that Mexico had that freak snowstorm that killed a bunch of people, and I've heard on the American channels of countless low temperature records in Arizona and Texas. My theory is that this has nothing to do with Global warming, but global positioning. Maybe the earth's axis is actually shifting to reveal new weather patterns? Maybe I'm wrong, but if it turns out I'm right and the millions of scientists that dissagree are wrong they better give me a fucking award.

On top of all this damn cold, the super-volare is once again dead. And this time I feel its going to stay that way...I even had to get DP to pull me home. This saddens me greatly, however I have to say that I got more than my $100 investment out of it in break torques and smashing things. Perhaps it will live again, perhaps not. I should mention that it died while I was having lunch with YC at Wendys restaurant. I then proceeded to enter the restaurant, shaking from cold, then approach the counter, mumbling and shivering. I then made a car starting gesture and the guy was like "YOU WANT THE CHILI!" and then Dave Thomas was like "No his car won't start". Then he like went back in time and made a commercial about it and cast some black guy as me. As if!

I should let you know that I have full intention to write the owners of Wendy's and apologize for my Volare being parked in their parking lot overnight.

Keep on the look out for an article from Audiophile. I'm not sure what its going to be about, but its going to be about something...and when Audiophile thinks hard about something, it ends up in either a big mess or a shiney gem. What the hell am I talking about? I don't know, I'm going to bed. Amuse yourself with some SuperBowl Commercials, a game of Old-School donkey kong, read some dumb Canadian laws, OR if you're really feeling brave, take the "Kiss my freckled ass goodbye" Quiz.

Oh yeah, and I'm totally sorry for the lack of update last night, I wasn't really that busy or anything I just didn't want to do one. Am I going to turn lazy and give up the site, kinda like what Jay B did? Who knows! Anybody want to buy it from me? I'm starting bids at "1 drivable car". Got a better idea? Try me.

*

Previous 5 Updates