|Nov 21, 2002 - It's NOT HARROWEEN?!?|
It's NOT Harroween anymore? I don't know what soul_d is smoking over at the new Demoni.ca....well
actually I do, but he should be advised that the cool thing to do these days is to kick back and not update webpages. I'm just telling it like it is. HOWEVER, I have a considerable incentive for updating today and
it has nothing to do with those folks over there.
First off - I've had a few people point out that my site sucks. Not only does the layout suck and not work properly, but apparently it occasionally looks like
trash in Opera and certain versions of Mozilla. Also, most of the links on the left sidebar are broken and have not been updated since some time in the year 2000 (hence
the Pike Lake 2000 link), all of the downloads have dissapeared except the last few, and the BBS is broken. I don't refute any of these claims. Truth is - it's probably not going to be fixed soon either. But keep sending in your complaints
anyways, because its always entertaining.
Well well well, I didn't think I would ever see the day when Doc Razor updated his page. Not only that,
but it isn't some sort of annoying trick. Well...maybe it is. Yeah it is - but it's useful! Check it out and find out yet another reason why you shouldn't use IE (unit3 should like this).|
Excuse the picture on the right, but I snapped this one day when I kicked down audiophile's door, and I haven't been able to get
the picture out of my mind since. In addition to that, and in appreciation of great camel toes everywhere I present you with this, and this.
Nothing could follow those better than a music video for the Dildo Song. What? You haven't heard of the Dildo Song before? Well - you'd better
download it quick!. And no, its not some sort of elaborate scheme to make you view jap bukake. Sorry JayB.
In other 'RBlords community' news:
You know what? I don't talk about myself on this site anymore. I'm sure all you readers out there are wondering "What the FUCK is Clayton up to, and why has he been such a dick lately?". Well, for starters,
my current 'winter beater', the bluesmobile, has been giving me problems the past couple weeks. This is partially due to sucky gear reduction starters on 70s Chrysler products, and partially because I went
offroading with it and bent the exhaust pipe all to shit. The former is my biggest problem - sometimes the starter just decides not to engage and I spend 10 minutes trying over and over until it does. Fuckin' whitey car, needs a spark-plug! Anyways, I'm
I'm left thinking to myself - WHY AM I DRIVING THIS CAR WHEN DOG POUND GETS A NEW TRUCK?!? I HATE HIM SOOOO MUCH!! Haha just kidding, he's alright. *SMASH*
Other than that I'm enjoying the glorious life of being a homeowner - high energy costs (leaving my burner on for two days doesn't help), roof repairs, local kids spraypainting my friend's nice car which is parked for
the winter in my backyard...all that regular stuff. Oh yeah, and having no extra money - thats nice too! Anyone want to move in with me? The catch is that you have to share a bed with me. Mel??
Click on the links under the picture on the left to find out why its a bad idea to drive through large puddles! I especially like how
everyone is just standing around watching instead of helping the lady get out of her car! This must be american! Speaking of Americans, I heard on the radio
last week that they oncovered a tape that supposedly has Bin Ladin's voice on it, revealing that he is still alive. In other words, the search to destroy
Bin Ladin continues, however I think know why they can't find him.|
Oh well - they can keep looking. And in the meantime we can all sit around and wonder what it would be like if you were there, at the WTC attack, with a high powered dual-laser gun.
But hey! Wonder no more! Just click here for a simulation!
Sweet...it's nice to offload some of these piles of content - I have tons more garbage where that came from, but you'll have to wait for another day because
right now I'm spent. Oh but wait just a minute - I do have more. And I have saved the best for last. Yes that's right folks - have you ever wanted to know exactly which
playmate was in Playboy magazine the month of your birth? Unless you're 50 years old or more, now you can find out! Just go here. That should keep you busy for awhile!
And now - I'm going for lunch.
|Oct 30, 2002 - It's HARROWEEN!!|
Ok. Please excuse the tacky incorrectly spelled title and poorly cut animated gifs, I just got carried away. It is,
however, the season to be busting heads and I'm not going to be making comprimises! I have my trusty new sacrificial sword
(stupid Ebay TriX0ring me into buying things). I'm going to start
chopping and running, and if YOU get in the way its not my problem!!
I don't really have any news to report - other than the fact that I made a trip to Edmonton last weekend which was very fun. Got
to visit my good friend Kujo, eat pizza in a hotel room, dick around at the West Ed mall,
eat at the Olive Garden, shop at Ikea and beat up some ugly children (I did that for JayB). All in all some good fun. Also
this past weekend the young and only YC threw a big party at his house to celebrate his
big raise, and promptly passed out to miss half of it!
You know I was just visiting my girlfriend at the Pet store she works at and noticed a sign stated that they will not sell Black cats during the halloween season due
to people torturing them (thinking they are witches, I pressume). I thought this was interesting - I guess it would be a good time of year to keep your black cat indoors
as well. Anyhow, while standing around I read a book about exotic pets and decided that I want to pick up a pot belly pig. What a practical pet! You can keep him around while
he's small and cute, and then when he gets big and mean you can just kill him and eat him! I'm sick and tired of eating cats. SICK and TIRED!
ACK!! It's Camel-Toe Elvis! Halloween truley does bring out the worst in some people! (Insert joke about my last year's superman costume here).
Well...most people anyways. Check out this sweet bikini! I think that is what
__SPACE__ is going to be wearing this year (she told me). I was all like "I don't think that would be a good
idea, you might get really cold" and she was all like "shutup I can do whatever I want with my fine, sexy body" and I was like "Damn! True Dat!!"
On a similar subject Dog Pound is really trying hard to think of a good costume that he could wear this year which
would also be appropriate to wear to work. Mail him your suggestions if you have some, or maybe just yell at him a bunch. He likes that. Yeah, DP rocks. Anyway, I'm
sure he's not going to beat YC's costume!!
I went and saw the new Jackass movie last night. Before I say anything about the movie I have to complain a bit about the movie
prices. $6.50 to watch a movie on a 'cheap' Tuesday?? Whats that? I thought regular price movies were $7! Oh wait, no, they're anywhere from $10 to $13 now! Sheesh - for two people
to watch a regular priced movie and get popcorn and two drinks costs damn near $40 now!|
Anyway...if you are a fan of the original Jackass series you'll love the movie, plain and simple. If you haven't seen the series -
maybe you should get ahold of an episode or catch a re-run (do they even show it anymore?) first. I would rate the movie in DP heads but I just don't think that I could - because its not really a movie. It's
simply a two-hour episode of the show! But with the raunchiest, most naked and obscene jokes they could muster that wouldn't possibly be aired on TV.
Don't count on this show making it to your
local TV station!!
Well that's about it - I threw in a lot of content on this update! (If you missed some of it - go back carefully over all of the highlighted links. ALL OF THEM!). Seems that people are starting to bug me about
updating again (now that I've actually made a few). You know what I think? I think you should all start bugging Razor to update HIS page because its getting old.
Yeah, you heard me. OLD.
|Oct 16, 2002|
Wow - I just noticed that I've barely made 10 updates since the beginning of this year, thats pretty lame! Yet this site still gets
bombarded by hits so frequently that I had to upgrade the connection (put icecubes on the cable modem). I also count
spiders and bots as frequent readers. What? Thats fair! Good thing this new
server can more than handle it!
That reminds me - check out my new server. If you're a true geek you might be interested in this,
otherwise don't bother clicking on the link. Just click
here instead to play with a farting doughboy. Am I the ultimate entertainer or what??
It also just occurred to me (I'm having a memory relapse here) that I missed something in my generic summer update. My friend
Bryce had his annual 'party to end all parties' shakedown at his residence sometime early August (I think). LOTS of people, LOTS
of free booze (including a cooler full of very stiff punch and a LOT of miscellanous shots). I think the pictures should explain the rest.
- Make sure
to check out this picture. Guess who that is chugging cheap german wine from a golden challice and win a prize.
Winter is coming - this has become painfully obvious lately with the shrill cold mornings and the occasional
snow flake falling from the sky. I've been so busy running around putting away patio furniture, draining the water
out of the boat leg, and generally winterizing things that I've forgotten to partake in the true spirit of the season by
killing children. Oh well - I suppose there is plenty of time for that yet...maybe this year I will hose down my driveway on
halloween night! If you have a more original idea, let me know, I'm sick of the
old poison-apple routine.
Blue4130 asked me today if I was going to have a halloween party this year. Sounds
like not a bad idea - but I suppose I'll have to get a new costume this year - the old one is a bit ripped.
Guess thats what I get for squeezing into a 12 year old's costume - but adult costumes are just so damn expensive!
My last edition of 'Signs that you live in the hood' went over so well that I've decided to continue the series. Today it is all about da rides.|
Damn! Dre would be proud, yo!
Well - thats it for now. If you need some more entertainment, try reading up on how to build your
own beer cooler using a jet engine. This is one project you SHOULD try at home.
PS - the 'Search' feature in the left-side menubar should be working now. Thanks Blue4130 for pointing out that it was
broken (about 6 months ago)
|Oct 08, 2002|
Just a breif note to my readers that RBlords.com will be having a breif downtime sometime within the next couple
days, as I am finally upgrading the server. As a result all services will be down temporarily (web, email, ftp, etc).
Sorry for the inconvenience!
|Sep 28, 2002|
Return to Innocence
My friends, these are indeed dark times when the webmaster of the most popular website on the internet fails to update for two consecutive months. I
sincerely beg of your forgiveness, and ask that you please stop sending death threats to me and my family. With that said, I am going to attempt to
recount the past 2 months in intricate detail, by the hour.
A few things have happened since July 26th....I built a deck in my backyard and finished it just in time for the great hot tub party of 2002. I guess I'll
start there. For those who were not in attendance, this year's hot tub party was a great success! I'm glad that the growing tradition has not ceased to
increase in fun, stupidity and ignorance of the law - and for this I can thank Unit3 as well as many other
'contributors'. Roughly 60 people attended over 4 nights, the weather was good (except for one night where it almost froze - but who cares when you're in
a hot tub?).
Click on the picture to view other HotTub2k2 photos - courtesy of RedBandana Online
There was the usual drinking, music, fires, nakedness, trampolining (only one injury sustained by Blue4130.
Highlights of the weekend included the huge food-fight which occurred in my kitchen between myself, Amy Pollock, JayB and
Linsie - which resulted in a 4 person drunken half-naked group shower. The mess in the kitchen included the rest of my birthday cake, ketchup, coke, milk,
yogurt, water and many other ingredients. Needless to say there was a river of 'slime' flowing out of my kitchen when we returned from our shower which took
me almost a week to completely clean off (it was all over the cubboards as well). All in good fun though!|
As an interesting side note - we did NOT receive a visit from the Saskatoon Police at any point during the weekend even though Unit3
was in attendance. I attribute this to the fact that his lady-friend was in attendance and perhaps keeping him quasi-control. Although the truth is there was at least 2 other
louder parties going on around us that the police were more worried about.
So all in all the hot tub party was a great success - everyone came that I had invited except for a couple people (ahem....Mel...). Good times!
So what else is new? I suppose there was our keg-party trip to Whiteswan lake which turned out really well. JayB managed to drink probably
half of that keg on his own, and proceed to go out 'tubing' on the lake afterwards. To my surprise he never lost his lunch, but at one point he DID lose his shorts while trying to ride on his
stomach. Shortly after this a couple wires in the back of the boat got wet and shorted out and we were forced to stop and repair the problem. JayB and
Blue4130 decided (after about 5 minutes of not going anywhere) that we were doomed and that they were going to swim their was back to
shore (which was at least 2 kms away). They made it about 50 feet at one point, but quickly gave up when we got the boat running again and picked them up.
The picture on the right was taken at YC's keg party, although I can't remember exactly when that was.|
A couple weeks ago I was woken up at about 1:00AM on a Saturday night (I was being lame that particular weekend and trying to catch up on some much needed sleep) by my friend
Shannon and told to get my ass to this party she was at all the way across town. After some argueing, and talking to about 3 other people at that party as the phone got passed around,
I decided I would 'stop by' for an hour just to entertain Travis, who was the only guy at the party and claimed he was having problems fending off all of the girls (who sounded quite drunk on
the phone). Anyhow that '1 hour' pretty much turned out to be all night...my favorite part of which was Kim, a 32 year old friend of Shannon's (very cute BTW) who also brought along her 14 year
old daughter to the party. The most bizarre thing was that they almost looked like twin sisters - Kim looked about 10 years younger than she was and her daughter looked about 5
years older than she was.
Anyhow I spent most of the rest of the night with this Kim girl on my lap, whispering things to me while her daughter cast me evil glares from across the room. Shannon and
Travis, however, couldn't stop laughing. And I as having a good time :). However this only lasted about another hour of hot dancing to old 'Dance-Mix' albums when Kim sorta passed out and I had
to carry her to the car and drive her home. I made Travis 'escort' her to her door, where he was almost mauled by Kim's husband. All in all, a very interesting night. A married man like myself
doesn't get to have fun like this every night! (PS don't tell Dawn)
In conclusion, this summer was a blast - I really enjoyed myself. Even after the stress of buying a house, selling all my cars except for two, buliding a deck and paying lawyer bills out the wing-wang (for the house),
I really had a good time, especially in the last month or so. Looking forward to an upcoming trip to Edmonton sceduled for Oct. 18th in which I am sure there will be stories to be told!
But thats enough about me - after all, this site isn't about me - it's about you, my reader. So lets get some fucking content going here. We'll start with some distrubing facts that I'm sure you didn't
ever want to know - they have been put together in a nice little powerpoint file, so have a look!.
To either side you will see photos that fall under my new category of "Signs that you live in the hood". |
I especially like the lifeguard sitting
under the rainbow umbrella on the edge of the boat-pool!
To end my content today, I have a special video just for _SPACE_ - this one goes out to you! Just click here. As a side
note, she updates her site a lot more than I do, and so does Unit3....and so does Red Bandana for that matter...
hmmm....I guess pretty well everyone does!
I'm going to try updating a little more regularily - so don't give up yet!!
|Jul 26, 2002|
Hmmm....looks like it has been an entire month since the last time I updated this site. Has anyone noticed? Didn't think so.
But I have to make, at minimum, monthly updates in order to continue referring to myself as one of the greatest webmasters
of the century - which I am, without a doubt. Trust me.
News? Kujo is moving out west so that his finance can follow her career in
education - in the meantime he will be an unemployed bum, so you might want to get ahold
of him and send him some money or something. Either way, we all wish him well in his move, and his new life in hickville, Canada!
More news - Dr. Razor has updated his site and would
like everyone to take a look. This new site design is the painstaking result of 3 solid days of work. This, my friends, is a perfect example of the miracles
one can accomplish by simply putting your mind to it. Bravo, Razor, Bravo. OH - and another example of the miracles
one can accomplish by simply putting your penis to it - Dallas and Nicole recently had a baby. About time!
Probably none of you are asking yourselves "What ever happened to that new server that Spitfire was promising? Why
isn't it here yet? Well, that seemed to be a project that peaked my interest breifly and then left just as fast. Unfortunately, during that time I had already ordered all of the parts
on Ebay. So...it may finally get put up as soon as I get my 20gig UWSCSI RAID5 array functioning...but that might not happen until winter at least.|
Interesting prospects - after a long and hearty conversation with the internet legend Larmal last night, there was breif
talk of a new satiracle site being born, in the style of the original 'Extreme Jerks'. This should be considered a rumour at this point, and may never happen. However,
I will tell you that there was talk of the involvement of the following famous internet personalities: YC, JayB and
Bill Gates. More on this as it develops.
I almost forgot how difficult it is to come up with ridiculous crap to paste all over my site - even when you only have to do so once every month. Best bet is probably
to just link to hillarious content to take the spotlight off of myself - like this hillarious urinal sketch. WATCH IT!
Now, if you're still bored - go check out Demoni.ca which is more frequently updated, or check out
what _SPACE_ is doing. If you're looking for some good laughs you can always count on TheOnion.com. There you go!
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