|Feb 24, 2003 - Sit down for a bit and learn about the important issues with YC|
Well, as many of us are anticipating the arrival of summer, winter tightens it's firm grip on our
lives. This morning I left for work and stepped out into a paltry -48 degrees celsius (with
windchill). Spitfire will be quick to point out that I only actually had to endure this
temperature for the 10 meter walk to my garage seeing as I park underground at work, and in
rebuttle I simply say "HA, suckers"! Well, I am still optimistic and believe that by early april
we will be enjoying some warmer days, so another month of this is all we should have to worry
The weekend party was quite enjoyable, JB and larmal made their appearances and both left their
mark in one form or another. Larmal decided to leave his by dumping a bowl full of mystery goo
on the living room floor, and it had nothing to do with the fact that spitfire had him pinned
down on the couch holding the bowl over him and smearing it on his head while yelling "CALL ME A
TROOPA"!!! No, nothing to do with that at all. JB left his by stabbing spitfire with my bottle
opener shortly before leaving. I wouldn't have found this out except that I was looking for my
keys in the morning which are attached to the bottle opener, and upon calling spitfire he
realized "oh THAT is what's stuck in my ribs". All in all there was a lot of beer drank, a LOT
of gin chugged, mostly by spitfire, and a lot of mess to clean up in the morning.
Now on to a more pointless topic, which none the less I am very stubborn about and refuse to back
down on to anybody! There is a right way to do it, and a wrong way to do it. It seems that a
lot of people do it wrong, and it's quite disturbing. There are only 2 ways, my way and the
wrong way! I am of course talking about........the orientation of which you place your TP on the
roller, what more important issue is there than this! The two options are to have it roll off
the back (closer to the wall), or off the front (closer to you and the toilet). The proper
orientation is obviously to have it closer to you and the toilet, so rolling off the front.
There are many reasons that this way is the best so I will cover a few of them for you.
First of all the TP has a much lower chance of piling up when rolling off the front, so your
maximum rate of unrolling is much higher from the front.
Secondly, when you are drunk and having trouble staying on the shitter let alone unrolling
yourself some TP, it is a lot easier to simply hang your arm out above where you think the TP is
and let it drop, if by some miracle you lined it up above the TP, then you will swat it on the
way down and voila, you have some TP out. If you rolled it off the back of the roll, well you
might as well just grab one of the magazines beside you and use that.
When you are having trouble finding the end of the roll so it will start unrolling it's way
easier to see it when it's facing YOU as opposed to facing the wall.
The smaller the roll gets, the harder it is to roll facing the back, but it remains just as
easy to roll off the front
Ok that should be enough reasons for any reasonable person. If it wasn't, well then you can just
continue on living life as you have been, full well knowing that you are breaking the 11th
commandment, thou shalt not roll their TP from the back!
Ok on to more serious topics, many of you may be concerned about the americans and all the stuff
that's been going on down there. Well don't worry because www.whitehose.org is here to the rescue to explain everything
from the vice presidents wife to the new patriotism programs they have initiated to boost
military enrollment and get women to stay home and have babies! I mean really, who can argue
with this? They
are also always on the ball to deliver the latest news like when somebody new moves to town.
Also don't forget how much they are thinking about your individual safety. They don't want
anything bad to happen to anybody, so make sure to take part in their programs, because they are
for your own benefit! Enough of this though, I will leave you to paruse the rest of the
information for yourself.
Well now, I couldn't leave you without a little eye candy to go home with. If any of you watched
the tv show "Highschool Reunion" then you undoubtedly noticed Holly, the shy girl who came out of
her shell after school and decided to pose for playboy, and so, I give you her playboy
Pic: 1 2 3
Well that is all for now! Tune in next time for Folding VS Bunching!
|Feb 19, 2003 - Just a quick, yet important, update...|
This just in (from theOnion.com):
Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever
ROCHESTER, MN -- Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits,
according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips
of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome
Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana."
In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex
with models cures cancer.
|Feb 14, 2003 - Valentine's Day!|
It's Valentine's Day!
Possibly the most over-commercialized day of the year, aside from Christmas and possibly mother's day. And no doubt one of the
most profitable. And why not? As YC so graciously puts it: "Valentine's day is the one day of the year
when non-single people are guaranteed to get some". I think this should hold special significance to any of you married guys out there! And for
those of you single guys/gals out there, what a great excuse to get together with somebody you barely know and fuck like rabbits.
all, Valentine's day IS the only day of the year that you can't get pregnant. Blue4130 or soul_d might
correct me on this, but I think it has something to do with the sun and the alignment of the planets. Either way, it's a proven fact - take my word for it. You'll be glad you did.|
So, in appreciation of this blown-up love holliday, I offer to you these fabulous valentine's cards (look to your right). If
you are the kind of person that hates everything (especially Valentine's Day), then perhaps you'd like to print these out and send them
to some of your friends/enemies.
Also notice the Valentine's day webcam picture and the Valentine's day comic.
Heil the big asses!!
V Day Cards!:
I suppose I should supply some sort of 'original' content at least once this year, so what better time than now? I think that I'll write a valentine's poem to all of my dedicated
readers (that's you!). So please read carefully, your tax dollars are paying for me to write this poem for you:
An RBlords Valentine
Lovers rushing here and there, to find that special prize.
Awash in a sea of chocolates, and Lingerie of every size.
There's no better way to show your love (and fit it in your cart),
than to buy that pile of roses, and ten million candy hearts.
And love, they say, will conquer all - compassion oft endears,
despite the trials and heartaches of the past (how many?) years.
Imagine all the things you share, don't worry what you lack,
besides, this day you're guaranteed to get some in the sack.
Now if you want to know what caused the writing of this rhyme,
I admit it's rather simple - two parts vodka, one part lime.
I'm waiting...hope she'll get here soon (as I'm filling up my cup),
another 2 or 3 of these and I won't be able to get it up!
Thank you everyone, and good night!!
|Feb 12, 2003 - I'm losing momentum on these updates...|
Oops! I posted yesterday's update without uploading all of the content, so if you noticed that some of the links weren't working, go back and try them now and
I think that you will be pleasantly surprised.
If you've got some time to spare, swing by Demoni.ca to see soul_d's anual
year-in-review update. We scored a whooping -1.5 with mad props to our new comics - but negative props to our lack of a link to Soul_D Online. Oh well,
guess you can't win them all.
I didn't really have that much to say today - other than that there is a new comic today by none other than
Dog Pound. This has exhausted my comic supply, so if you guys don't start sending in some more I'll be forced to draw
|Feb 11, 2003 - Phun with VPNs - is that an oxymoron?|
Well, the RBlords network is now officially connected to the Powersource network
once again via VPN. What does this mean for you guys? Absolutely nothing. Why am I even mentioning it then? I guess because I'm a sad and
lonely man with nothing better to talk about and hoped that some fellow geek would find it interesting. What, you don't? Bah!!
Oh well - I'm sure the only reason my readers even visit this site is because of the pictures of strippers and
bikini powerpoint presentations. Well,in the interest of science I will give you something to think about today.
Now tell me honestly - how many of you have toyed with the idea of creating an invisible coat? With countless theories
abound which include special diamond coated sheets which refract light *around* your own body, no scientist will tell you that
the ability to wear an invisibility coat is entirely impossible - but the manufacturing of such a device is still, perhaps, a long way off.|
Well - professor Susumu Tachi of Toyko is at least trying (see picture on the left). Although his invention is a bit impracticle for mobile use, you have
to admit the idea is appealing. Especially when they mention the uses this technique might have in medical practices. Click on the picture on the left to read
the full article, where you can also view a video of the device in use (click on the smaller photo on the left of the article).
Now that you've had a chance to get your brain thinking, take a stab at understanding _SPACE_'s new comic for rblords. It should
be noted that I hounded her until she eventually submitted, and I don't think that she was very happy about the whole ordeal. I believe that the aristry put into the comic reveals the
anger that she was feeling for me at that moment in time. Beautiful stuff.
Valentine's day is coming up, you can expect an RBlords exclusive report to celebrate it. At least I think you can - if I don't forget. That's all for now!
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