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D e m o n i . c a

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Da final cut

OH Dog Pound I ran into Cleopatra again, I didn't know you porked her. I barely recognized her, she has gained some weight. She said she was madly in love with you but she hadn't seen you for years. I couldn't tell if it was love or just a craving for chicken nuggets. Anyway she asked about you. So now onto a more interesting topic. Actually I think maybe watching a fucking mime try to act out the last episode of MASH would be more interesting than Dog Pound.

But once again we'll talk about things that matter, me. Right now I'm going to talk about wrestling and how it doesn't compare to me. So I just got back from a heavy workout at the gym and I sit down to drink a protein shake and watch a little TV. So I dust off the screen cuz I haven't sat around like the fat pig you are for months. So I turn it on and what do I see? I see a bunch of fucking pussies running around on top of a trampoline pretending to hurt each other. What the fuck is that I'd like to know? Some people call it entertainment, I call it a fucking waste of good muscle. If I wanted to see a fucking ferry dancing around in tights and periodically attempt to scream incoherent sentence fragments into a mic I'd go to a Dog Pound concert.

Hmm, now that we're back on the topic of Dog Pound again. Dog Pound remember that time I was sleeping at your place overnight and I over-heard those disturbing sounds emminating from your room? It sounded like someone was butchering a pig, so I though you were tangled in your bed sheets again and I thought I'd have to come and give you another syringe full of gripe water. Man was I wrong, I remember it like it was yesterday... you sitting cross legged in the corner of your room with a blanket just below your waist and sweat pouring down your face mixed with tears and that confused look on your face. It took me like 2 hours of trying to get you to pull the blanket off of your lap. What can I say, I feel kinda guilty that I laughed so hard but I couldn't believe you got your dink stunk in that coke bottle, and why the hell did the bottle have "Katie" written all over it?

Well anyway, I think that will mark the end of this article. It is 3:00 am on Wednesday night (or should I say Thursday Morning) and I will be hopping on the plane to Saskatoon in less than 8 hours, so I will see you all at Pike Lake.