First, a little history. The game of "Rubber Tire Concern" was realized
sometime during the May long weekend of 1999 while I as at Pike Lake with
a bunch of other hellbent, mischeivious legal-age friends. Seeking a way
to make use of the beutiful day, a few of us began searching for something
to do. The frisbee was missing, we didn't seem to have a softball, but we
DID have a punctured rubber innertube from a crappy old scooter. (I don't
know why we had this, but we did).
Anyway, a new game was soon developed which would sweep the nation. It was
soon entitled "Rubber Tire Concern" and all appropriate copyrights,
trademarks and patents were filed by my friend Hellsh0k and myself.
But enough history lessons, on to the rules of the game!|
The basic premise of Rubber Tire Concern is to toss the punctured inner
tube (you may use a bike innertube as well, but this has not been
tested) to the other competitors violently (using sharpened tree
branches), attempting to harm them or
otherwise scare them. The other competitors must then attempt to catch the
tube using the end of their sharpened tree branch.
Rubber Tire Concern can be played in any outdoor environment, in lakes,
forests, deserts (very difficult) or even in the sky. Want to learn how to
play? Just read the following 11 essential rules:
Rules of Rubber Tire
- If the receiver of a toss misses the catch, the thrower may use
sharpened tree branch to maliciously lash the receiver until the tube
is recovered. This enhances the fast-paced nature of the game.
- In the occasion that the game is played in a situation where there is
little or no light, flashlights may be attached to the end of the
throwing sticks. This also creates a pretty cool lightsabre
- When 7 concecutive throws are caught (rare), all players must drop
their sticks and perform a ceremonial dance which lasts a total of 10
seconds. Once the dance is completed there is a 30 second free-game period
in which the players may battle violently. Once this period is over, the
tube is retreived and lofted by the player with the least amount of
hair. In the situation where there is a tie (example: two bald players),
the player with the brightest shirt is default.
- During the case of a rejection (the receiver intentionally bats the
tube away in an act of futility - only allowed during even throws), all
other players must rush to the tube and gain possestion of it. The player
who gains possesion of it must then stand up straight, holding the tube
above his/her head and scream:
May ENKI, Master of Magicians, free me!
May ASHARILUDU, son of ENKI, free me!
May they bring to naught your vile scorceries!
Once recited, then and only then can another player be brought into the
game, usually in a violent nature. The new player claims the right to take
the life of any existing player
- On the thirteenth, seventeenth and twenty-forth throw, the tube must
thrown by hand. Players without the tube spread out as far as possible as
the player with the tube attempts to throw the tube into a nearby
tree. If the tube is caught in a high tree branch, the player is awarded 5
points for each foot high the tube has come to rest. This, of course, is
an obvious anticipated point in the game, not to mention a good way to
score quick points. For that reason, refer to rule #6
- On the twevth, 16th and twenty-third throw, the throwing player must
blindfolded, soaked in water (super-soakers work well here) and rolled in
the dirt. This prevents the player from intentionally being able to select
who the tube is thrown to next. All other players must remain quiet as the
throwing player stands with his back to the other players and lofts the
tire over his head with as much force possible. If the tube ends up in a
tree at this point, see Rule #7
- If, at any point other than the thireenth, seventeenth and
throw, the tube is tossed into a tree, bush, or small shrub, the throwing
player is immediately awarded 5 points. To avoid intentional tree-throws,
players are often encouraged to play intoxicated or without the use of
their eyes or dominant hand.
- In the event of a dissagreement, such as cheating, the decision will
made by the player with the most amount of points. In the event of a tie,
the decision will go to the girl with the least amount of clothing. If
there are no women playing, or there is a tie, the decision will be made
by a violent brawl.
- Players who choose to play Rubber Tire Concern while being unclothed
are welcome, but are required to carry a smaller, 3 foot long un-sharpened
stick. This is to prevent possible cheating based on rule #8. Men are not
allowed to be nude at any point during Rubber Tire Concern, unless as a
direct result of a violent brawl.
- On the thirty-third throw (end of the game), the player with the tube
must stand atop the tallest vehicle nearby and stand with his back to the
remaining players. The player must then loft the tube as far away as he
physically can. At this point, any other player who catches the tube is
automatically declared winner of the round. If no-one catches the tube,
or the tube is caught in a tree, bush or small shrub, the throwing player
must then flee the scene and run a total of no less than 5 miles while
being chased by the remaining players. The first player to catch up to the
fleeing player must stab the deserter in the back until immobile,
declaring the winner of the game. If the fleeing player is able to outrun
all remaining players for 5 miles, he/she is to be declared
- Players may participate in rubber tire concern while partially or
completely submerged in water (this may be either intentional or
forced). When attacking a player who is playing within a body of water,
drowning, sufficating, and intentionally trying to knock the player out of
conciousness is not allowed. Water players are given special permission
to drive nails through their sharpened stick, and to have a stick of
maximum length 5 meters (standard sticks are no longer than 1.75 meters)
* * *
After reading rule #3, people often think this game is a joke but I assure
you it is not. The fact of the matter is that the incantation has never
been successfully recited. Many of you may recogize the incantation from
Necronomican, this is not made up. If recited properly, flames with
surround the reciter and he will be thust into a firely throne.
Either way, I'm going to be playing some sweet RTC this may long weekend
at Pike Lake, and I invite everyone to come and try.