Rubber Tire Concern - The Game, the Myth, the Legend

First, a little history. The game of "Rubber Tire Concern" was realized sometime during the May long weekend of 1999 while I as at Pike Lake with a bunch of other hellbent, mischeivious legal-age friends. Seeking a way to make use of the beutiful day, a few of us began searching for something to do. The frisbee was missing, we didn't seem to have a softball, but we DID have a punctured rubber innertube from a crappy old scooter. (I don't know why we had this, but we did).

Anyway, a new game was soon developed which would sweep the nation. It was soon entitled "Rubber Tire Concern" and all appropriate copyrights, trademarks and patents were filed by my friend Hellsh0k and myself.

But enough history lessons, on to the rules of the game!

The basic premise of Rubber Tire Concern is to toss the punctured inner tube (you may use a bike innertube as well, but this has not been tested) to the other competitors violently (using sharpened tree branches), attempting to harm them or otherwise scare them. The other competitors must then attempt to catch the tube using the end of their sharpened tree branch.

Rubber Tire Concern can be played in any outdoor environment, in lakes, forests, deserts (very difficult) or even in the sky. Want to learn how to play? Just read the following 11 essential rules:

Rules of Rubber Tire Concern

  1. If the receiver of a toss misses the catch, the thrower may use his/her sharpened tree branch to maliciously lash the receiver until the tube is recovered. This enhances the fast-paced nature of the game.

  2. In the occasion that the game is played in a situation where there is little or no light, flashlights may be attached to the end of the throwing sticks. This also creates a pretty cool lightsabre effect.

  3. When 7 concecutive throws are caught (rare), all players must drop their sticks and perform a ceremonial dance which lasts a total of 10 seconds. Once the dance is completed there is a 30 second free-game period in which the players may battle violently. Once this period is over, the tube is retreived and lofted by the player with the least amount of hair. In the situation where there is a tie (example: two bald players), the player with the brightest shirt is default.

  4. During the case of a rejection (the receiver intentionally bats the tube away in an act of futility - only allowed during even throws), all other players must rush to the tube and gain possestion of it. The player who gains possesion of it must then stand up straight, holding the tube above his/her head and scream:

    May ENKI, Master of Magicians, free me!
    May ASHARILUDU, son of ENKI, free me!
    May they bring to naught your vile scorceries!

    Once recited, then and only then can another player be brought into the game, usually in a violent nature. The new player claims the right to take the life of any existing player

  5. On the thirteenth, seventeenth and twenty-forth throw, the tube must be thrown by hand. Players without the tube spread out as far as possible as the player with the tube attempts to throw the tube into a nearby tree. If the tube is caught in a high tree branch, the player is awarded 5 points for each foot high the tube has come to rest. This, of course, is an obvious anticipated point in the game, not to mention a good way to score quick points. For that reason, refer to rule #6

  6. On the twevth, 16th and twenty-third throw, the throwing player must by blindfolded, soaked in water (super-soakers work well here) and rolled in the dirt. This prevents the player from intentionally being able to select who the tube is thrown to next. All other players must remain quiet as the throwing player stands with his back to the other players and lofts the tire over his head with as much force possible. If the tube ends up in a tree at this point, see Rule #7

  7. If, at any point other than the thireenth, seventeenth and twenty-forth throw, the tube is tossed into a tree, bush, or small shrub, the throwing player is immediately awarded 5 points. To avoid intentional tree-throws, players are often encouraged to play intoxicated or without the use of their eyes or dominant hand.

  8. In the event of a dissagreement, such as cheating, the decision will be made by the player with the most amount of points. In the event of a tie, the decision will go to the girl with the least amount of clothing. If there are no women playing, or there is a tie, the decision will be made by a violent brawl.

  9. Players who choose to play Rubber Tire Concern while being unclothed are welcome, but are required to carry a smaller, 3 foot long un-sharpened stick. This is to prevent possible cheating based on rule #8. Men are not allowed to be nude at any point during Rubber Tire Concern, unless as a direct result of a violent brawl.

  10. On the thirty-third throw (end of the game), the player with the tube must stand atop the tallest vehicle nearby and stand with his back to the remaining players. The player must then loft the tube as far away as he physically can. At this point, any other player who catches the tube is automatically declared winner of the round. If no-one catches the tube, or the tube is caught in a tree, bush or small shrub, the throwing player must then flee the scene and run a total of no less than 5 miles while being chased by the remaining players. The first player to catch up to the fleeing player must stab the deserter in the back until immobile, declaring the winner of the game. If the fleeing player is able to outrun all remaining players for 5 miles, he/she is to be declared winner.

  11. Players may participate in rubber tire concern while partially or completely submerged in water (this may be either intentional or forced). When attacking a player who is playing within a body of water, drowning, sufficating, and intentionally trying to knock the player out of conciousness is not allowed. Water players are given special permission to drive nails through their sharpened stick, and to have a stick of maximum length 5 meters (standard sticks are no longer than 1.75 meters)
    * * *

    After reading rule #3, people often think this game is a joke but I assure you it is not. The fact of the matter is that the incantation has never been successfully recited. Many of you may recogize the incantation from the Necronomican, this is not made up. If recited properly, flames with surround the reciter and he will be thust into a firely throne.

    Either way, I'm going to be playing some sweet RTC this may long weekend at Pike Lake, and I invite everyone to come and try.